放下．放空．放平．放心．放手

放下．放空．放平．放心．放手

刘墉

新来的小沙弥，对什么都好奇。秋天，禅院里红叶飞舞，小沙弥跑去问师父：「红叶这么美，为什么会掉呢？」师父一笑：「因为冬天来了，树撑不住那么多叶子，只好舍。这不是『放弃』，是『放下』！」

冬天来了，小沙弥看见师兄们把院子里的水缸扣过来，又跑去问师父：「好好的水，为什么要倒掉呢？」师父笑笑：「因为冬天冷，水结冻膨胀，会把缸撑破，所以要倒干净。这不是『真空』，是『放空』！」大雪纷飞，厚厚的，一层又一层，积在几棵盆栽的龙柏上，师父吩咐徒弟合力把盆搬倒，让树躺下来。小和尚又不解了，急着问：「龙柏好好的，为什么弄倒？」
师父脸一整：「谁说好好的？你没见雪把柏叶都压塌了吗？再压就断了。那不是『放倒』，是『放平』，为了保护它，教它躺平休息休息，等雪霁再扶起来。」

天寒，加上全球金融危机，香油收入少多了，连小沙弥都紧张，跑去问师父怎么办？
「少你吃？少你穿了吗？」师父瞪一眼：「数数！柜里还挂了多少衣服？柴房里还堆了多少柴？仓房里还积了多少土豆？别想没有的，想想还有的；苦日子总会过去，春天总会来。你要放心。『放心』不是『不用心』，是把心安顿。」

如果不曾拿起，怎么放下？

如果不曾拥有，怎么放空？

如果不曾独立，怎么放平？

如果不曾挂念，怎么放心？

如果不曾抓紧，怎么放手？

人生就有很多欲望和追求，就如树不停长出的叶子，不能也不可能留住所有的叶子，这时就要学会放下。叶子再美，树也承受不住。在人生的路途中放下过重的行李，这并不意味着放弃，为了走得更远，必须做到轻装简行。放空即虚怀若谷，不会在于他人的赞扬中自我膨胀。在遇到强大的压力和挫折时，要学会放平，休养生息。在困境中，不急燥，学会把心安顿。

2011年的新一天、第一天，期待着自己能比较沉静，能学会放下．放空．放平．放心．放手。

Memory span

Recently, I had been doing some readings and I found an interesting article about memory span of the goldfish today. There's a myth saying that the memory span of a goldfish is around 3 seconds, but the actual research in the contemporary has shown that goldfish does have memory span of at least 3 months and could differentiate colors, shapes and the surrounding of it. Hmm.. somehow I wish to become a goldfish, because having the bitter memories etched in mind is terrible. Bitter memories are much easier to be remembered compared to sweet ones. 3 months of bittersweet memories are enough to be tamed, and there's 'restart' button for goldfish to have another memory again..As human being, I could only remind myself to think about the sweet memories and not to live in the shadows of bad memories.

Anyway, the list of resolution for year 2011 is fulled of my new targets. One of the targets is boast up my pointers and remain in dean list! Okay, perhaps, not only be in dean list, I aim for first class.=) For my studies, I do hope I have more than 3 months memory span =)

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Going to watch a funny movie introduced by aunt i.e. 7th Grade Civil Servant, hmm.. next would be The Proposal I guessed~

untitled

The year is ending soon and I only have few more days to spend with my family. Somehow, I felt sad as going to leave the home again. I know that I will miss my parents whom have shower me with concerns. Anyway, there are some random photos that I should have uploaded..

it was the birthday cake~ although it was not a happy-ending birthday, but i am still loving it.

- I am looking for university to reopen..

I hope for a bright year ahead...-

丁当 我爱上的

眼泪只准在眼眶打转，就象海浪，抱着海岸
拥抱不等于拥有天堂
最后，再爱我一个晚上
地久天长，天大的谎
爱到了最后碎成了碎钻，碎成了星光
我爱上的是他笑起来的迷幻
我爱上的是他比我还逞强
我爱上的是他瞳孔里的太阳
我爱上的是我逃不掉的逃亡
最后我只剩下了一半
身体一半，灵魂一半
永远找不到另外一半
以后难免会想起他吧
如果偶然，只是偶然
为什么遗忘那么难
我爱上的是他笑起来的迷幻
我爱上的是他比我还逞强
我爱上的是他瞳孔里的太阳
我爱上的是我逃不掉的逃亡
我爱上的是他笑起来的迷幻
我爱上的是他比我还逞强
我爱上的是他瞳孔里的太阳
我爱上的是我逃不掉的逃亡
我爱上的是他戒不掉的流浪
我爱上的是我逃不掉的逃亡
眼泪只准在眼眶打转，就象海浪，抱着海岸
拥抱不等于拥有天堂

My 21st birthday

Everyone is wishing or sending birthday greetings to wish the birthday girl to have a wonderful 21st birthday. Yet,I wasn't celebrated it happily and almost spent the final 5 hours mourning/crying in sadness.

What does 21st birthday so special about? Yea, I can't deny that I did expect for a joyful celebration with the loved ones. But frankly speaking, it's just meant that parents had gave birth to me and I had grown up to 21 years old now! I did not put high expectation for this year's birthday, just hoping to have a nice hanging out with family. But everything was ruined after a dinner. I hoped that my sis could learn how to respect the elders' opinions rather than just follow what she desired for. Everything was ruined just because of the so called important 'face' of yours. Isn't a nice dinner to be having with family members more important? It's a bad day for me! The birthday cake was laid on the table silently awaiting for the birthday girl to make a wish. If I could make a wish now, I hope that my mom is not angry anymore, so as the siblings.

Anyway, dad, I am so sorry to make u in dilemma. I knew you suggested the venue with good intention, but who knows... Huh!Mom, i am sorry too=(

21st birthday, the worst birthday I ever had, I hate today because I wasn't happy!

有谁能体谅我的雨天？

Happiness

The recent shocking news of a guy who committed suicide for his beloved ex gf had shown that the recklessness of parents who lack of concern of their children and the youngsters have cavalier attitude towards their own precious life. Is that really worthwhile to spend your time, life and tears for someone who doesn't love you anymore? "Romeo takes me to somewhere we can be along" is a girl's wishes, hoping that her Mr. Right could bring the felicity and happiness to her. Well, there are many inevitable thing happening in the love story.I hate to say that there are many Korean male/ female celebrities committed suicide because of love too. Committing suicide is just an avenue to avoid the responsibility and sorrows or anger. Leaving your beloved ones with a letter before committing suicide and after all, if you ever know they will be heartbroken to see your corpse with the letter in hand?!

Parents and family are still the only one who will not hurt you much and love you=) there are some exceptions to certain families yet the quote " blood is thicker than water" applies in general. Please do love your own self before loving others.

Life, fulled of bittersweet memories.

Just like my blog's title, it's a bittersweet symphony of life.

Being happy is something I am learning.

The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.

Let's smile even it's a bad day=)

At least you are still alive to undergo the sorrows.

Hopeless

I found an interesting post from my friend, Shelyn...She wrote this:

When you look once,

Everything seems nice.

But when you look twice,

You can see all lies.

-Quoted-

In life, we have many ambitious desires which are achievable, but we lack stamina to keep pursuing. My dream never seem to be perfect and come true. Do miracles happen? It's inevitable for unexpected things to happen.

The one you trusted with can be the one who hurts you the most. The one who is the closest with you might be the one who lies to you. The one who gave hope to you is possibly to be the person who scuppers all your hopes! The one whom you care the most may gives you lies as present of the day! Gosh! I am damn pissed off today. Yea, I am having a terrible mood after seeing the message at 11am. What a great surprise of the day!!!Ish! Don't ever make a promise when you are unable to fulfill it! You are just a mood ruiner~ To whom who know me best, you should know that I HATE people who break promises ?!

Just like the quote above, when I see it once, the promise seems to be so nice, when I look at it for the second time, it turns to be a lie and will never happen! Gosh! My favorite month becomes the month I detest~Dec 2010 seem to be so unfaithful and I dislike it!

Huh!!! Anyway, today is my buddy,von's birthday! My dear von von, happy birthday to you! May you and martin be the sweet couples forever!=)

A funny photo which is taken from li chen to be shared with:

Well, my goal during the holidays- keeping fit! I hope I can have the persistence and perseverance to achieve my goal.

~ The end~

ps: Dear Lord, I wish my days could be happier!

Essentials for the month

Happy dates

Here's some fusion of bits of my life to share...

On 9th Dec 2010, I had been hanging out with von, val and von's bf; martin. We went to Fullhouse which I wished to go long time ago. Hmm.. the foods there are not very delicious, yet I quite like the decoration there.Thanks to Martin who fetch us to Fullhouse and Sunway Pyramid~

Let's view some camwhores of us..^^

Today, I had went to The Curve and Ikano with my family. After leaving KL to study in Johor, I got less chances to hang out with family already. Today= Shopping day! I finally bought the books entitled of, ' My sister's keeper' and 'waiting for a person's coffee'. Dad and mom bought me a pair of eyes mask!it's so cute~

Postcards

Today, I would like to address my appreciation to my friends who had bought me some souvenirs when they travelling oversea.

from li chen, my cute ex tuition mate + friend; Nottingham

- the postcard was bought during her travel at Oxford-

from Wesley, my course representative who had brought back the maple leaf from Korea, isn't it cool?!

An unexpected postcard was given by senior Nicky Kah Hoe who traveled at Jeju Island; Korea-

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the upper photo is a shirt's words and it spoke my heart out..haha=)

December Month 2010

Yeah! December is approaching!I love this month very much!

1st, it's my birthday month! ❤❤❤

2nd, there's my another 2 close friends' birthday month too..i.e. ee von and chin ting's! that's great~

3rd, I love christmas, I am looking forward for the gift from my neighbour..haha! this time, I hope tht i will not get earrings again. XD

On 30th November 2010, it signified our 3rd semester had ended after conquering the last 2 papers. My sistaz had been planned to go to visit Tropical Village, Ayer Hitam to release our stress accumulated from the assignments and exams on the following day.

There were only some photos being captured as we can't bear standing under the hot burned sun for too long. We spent 2 hours at there. Personally thinking that the entrance ticket fee which is RM10 is quite costly and the maintenance of the mini world is much to be desired!

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After visiting the tropical village, we headed to Kluang Mall for taming our hunger. We ended up having lunch at Secret Recipe and the chicken cordon bleu was super delicious! It was too bad that my favourite mango delight cake was unavailable on that day. Huh! We found out that secret recipe's chocolate walnut chip cake was very nice too.

The top right= the 21st birthday cake..=)

After the lunch, we went to shopping~Hehe.. my attention was caught by big head doll. There were 4 designs with the difference of their shirts and eyes. The plush dolls were just too cute!

We were much like the prisoners coming out from jails for not seeing the world for a long time. Hahaha! We girls shopped alot for clothes, hair accessories and so on. We came out with a suggestion to the future husbands i.e. it's advisable for letting your wife to shop once every week rather than once a month; otherwise your wife will be shopping triple than you expected. LOL

The most unforgettable moment was hui en they all had bought me a mint vanilla ice-cream cake fro Family Bakery House to have an earlier celebration of my 21st birthday! The mint ice-cream melt inside my mouth while the love that's given by them melt my heart! I was much more surprised when I found the round head doll on my bed when I slept. It was the gift from them! I love it very much! The head is very similar to mushroom's head. Haha..

Exams 2010

The 7 exam papers had been conquered within 5 days, or in other words, the exam papers for my course were finished within a week! OMG! It's really terrible when your brain's capacity is low to accommodate so many stuffs inside. The guilt inside myself is indescribable as i did not do well in my exam papers in final examinations. Huh..Quality Management, Business Law, Japanese, MOT, Management Information System,Technical Writing and Manufacturing Technology~ None of the papers that I am satisfied with the performance of my exams. Ahhhh.. Hopefully, I still can manage to maintain my dean list position.

I personally very dislike the irresponsibility of the manufacturing technology lecturer as he did not teach well and most of us did not know what had we learnt during this sem. A lecturer who only knew how to give tutorial questions after doing his one-man show of presenting the presentation slides! Ish.. I wondered how he got his Dr. title!!!

Anyway, i am the main enemy of myself for not doing well in exams~Nah, I still could on facebook during the hectic exam week..Facebook is much more interesting than reading the stack of closed-text passages..=*

vs

exam preparation with a MILO cup in which its content is coffee instead of milo and some snacks~

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Haiz..it's useless to cry over the spilled milk, i could only to pay back my sleeping debts during the exam weeks now..

Exam Week

Food delights

Mom's homecook糯米饭

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Some captures of the foods during the exam study weeks~

chicken porridge from a malay stall at Parit Raja.

The taste is similar to chinese cooking!

友情风车

友情风车

Somehow, glancing back the photos that we captured last time making the memories embedded in mind become clearer. The moments we spent eating dinner at mamak stalls outside the Perwira Hostel, orchestrating moral projects together, had meals at Mui Lim before each going back hometown, enjoyed watching movie together, celebrated each's birthday and cracking brains to design birthday cards + surprises, planned for trips,etcetera. Yet, such moments could only be embedded in mind as we were like keeping each at arm's length nowadays. How sad?!

4th of November is approaching, in which it's going to be our dear sis i.e. chia pei and mf's birthday. We had celebrated for Chia Pei and we were glad that she was very happy with the pressie we gave=). Hui En had asked if we tried to organize a birthday celebration inviting m.f they all to celebrate together, will the friendships between us have a U-Turn. Hmm..yet, such opinion had been kept in minds and we did not make the approaches out. I could feel that Chia Pei missed the time she played volleyball with mf and siew chen while Hui en missed the time that ws helped her when passed by the hostel's guard house due to her dyed hair, the day we ate at mamak trying to reconcile back after quarreling over the rental house problem and so forth. Undoubtedly, we still miss the feeling of having them as our friends.

I have no idea with the causes for the friendships turn into a fiasco. Is that really because of the sharing of book's costs? My late apology wasn't helped anything~ Huh!

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The finalized final exam's schedule was terrible! I don't really like finishing up the exams within 7 days as I know I couldn't finish up my revision. Huh...I am worrying of the studies as I know that my studies was kind of mess as I was rushing the endless loads of assignments most of the time during this semester.

I don't wish to be a dead meat after the final, so...

I could only ask myself to

GANBATTE KUDASAI!

19102010

I had been struggling to post up this post in this blog rather than the one which belongs to me and him, well,it's kinda be neglected.Huh..Perhaps all of us are busy~

It's going to be having the 100 days that we have walked through, and yesterday i.e. 19/10/2010 was his birthday. We had an earlier celebration on 18th Oct 2010 which was the 90th days we had been together with. I guessed this unromantic guy never remember any dates. Huh! Disappointed~ Well, hopefully he will be at least remembering the anniversary date~ It was a simple celebration where we ate dinner together at KFC and ate 3 cakes out of 6. It had a deep meaning for the no. of slices of cakes I bought from JB.( by Hui En actually); and I was surprised that he knew the meaning and how the idea came out with. I am looking forward to see the photos, too bad that we did not take photos together that day! Huh..what a waste as it's hard to ask a person who dislike to take photos to be captured with u~ Anyway, I hope that he likes the gifts I gave and the cards as well. All had been made for couples of periods.

19/10/2010- His birthday- he celebrated with his test at night; with the short of electricity supply at most of the housing areas here from 8.30pm to 10.15pm. Hui en and I had been cooked spaghetti although without electricity XD. Nice moment~ Oh yea, thanks to Jia Sin and Hai Ling who send candles to us=)

20/10/2010- A memorable day although I was busy as usual, indulging with caffeine to rush the assignments. The short chat with Li Chen who was currently in Nottingham had made me acquiring a better mood. The chat was actually started with a funny way in which she requested for a sentence which I loved to use in essay-writing. Haha.. I was amazed by the friendships between us as we were from different secondary schools, high schools but just knew each other through a 3hrs tuition classes and hereby the friendship blossoms =) We could talk non stop in the tuition class and kept laughing on some silly matters. I am appreciating this cheerful friend, miss her =)

Last but not least, A shoutout from my heart- I wanna decaffeinate my drinks, I wanna rest with my computer off for days, I wanna get rid from the tons of assignments and correction over and over..., Huh... and I know this couldn't be happened as I have to study for japanese test on Mon. and complete my 3 presentation slides and 1 more assignment. AHHH..HELP!!!

I plan to reward my hectic life by buying a new pair of sandals which I loved and dreamed of ~ So, shopping on Fri =)

Penned by

a busy lady! lol