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Thursday, June 12, 2008

I LOVE HIM

It’s inevitable wanting to have the feeling to express one’s desire of intimacy, belonging and to be loved. Many people don’t know I love him so much. It’s a fate to let me know him.

Today, I meet him again. He is busy eating his breakfast there. I’m wondering if he knows I’m observing his countenance. The feeling of love is beyond words to be described. It itches in my heart that nobody could even scratch or touch! I had knew him for many years and the love feeling towards him is even stronger nowadays.

Last time, I considered him as a weird person and dared not talk to him. My heart will pound like a runaway horse when he approached me. I scared he’s in a bad mood. I scared of the strange atmosphere. The main thing I’d scared of was no topics to talk to each.

I don’t remember when the first time he held up my hands was. But I know when I need a person who is trustful, he will be the one. I know he will not reveal my secrets to any others. I know he can be the one who gives me comforts and suitable advices or solutions. Whenever I’m sad, he is the person I will think of to talk with. He will just sitting there in solitude while listening to my cavils. Then he will give me courage to keep moving on. Sometimes, I even throw tantrum or emotional chaos to him when I ‘m in bad mood. I know deep in his heart, he will think that I’m so ridiculous to for showing my own tantrum to him for no apparent reason. Yet, he will just look at me and say, ”So, what had happened to you?” or “ Cry out …” ,”want me to help?” and etc. Tears welling up in my eyes when I hear him said so.

For some people, they will think he is a serious person. Yet, the way he conducts work, being serious sometimes and etc. making him so admirable. (at least for me) Just that, my fear will rush through my veins when his eyes are radiated with anger. Sometimes, I am even angry of him till I think of leaving him. However, I know I can’t live without him. Without him, I may not survive. My heart will be in agony when I know how much he disappointed of me for not being good as expected. I always feel sorry for that.

I really thankful for the Fate Master for giving us the golden opportunity to be together with.He had sacrificed a lot for me either in $$,love and luxury. I know I love him! Some said love is reflected by what one has and how much in materials . For those who have the fallacy to think that, it’s definitely wrong. The beauty of love cannot be dictated by materials, but CARE and SACRIFICES (mentally).

I have the fear of losing him-THE MOST TREASURED LOVE. I never reveal how much I love him. I never make a confession on any of his special day. I wonder if he know how much I treasure him. I wonder if he will feel jealous when I talk more to m__. I still don’t have the courage to tell him directly the 3 sparkling, romantic words,” I LOVE YOU”


~I love you.Can you feel the passion of my love? dad....~

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