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Monday, March 16, 2009

Depression, Ability and Desperation (D.A.D)

DEPRESSION

10th of Mac was a remarkable day in which that's the day of the STPM results was released.Hmm.. when I arrived on the scene at 1.25 pm,I was the 15th student of my class who reached to take my results.Bearing with minds and hopes, praying hard to get good results, but the truth was cruel to me.My maths and Biology results was just out of my expectation in which these 2 subjects had pulled down my cgpa.Haiz..I can't blame others but myslef who only put efforts and determinations in the last 3 months before STPM~ I was so regretful now. I knew I can do better if I started to revise earlier and earlier like form3 or form 5~ Well,here goes the saying" remorse is the pain of sin".. With my LOW cgpa, I was just wondered how would my future path to be.What courses that offered by public uni that i can enter..

Here goes the saying "Remorse is the pain of sin"..* sigh*... SO DISPRESSED with my stpm results! Haiz..


Ability

I had a long talk with my parents and my ex-tutor i.e. Dr. Chan, and what should i do if I do not get a seat in public uni thanks to certain factors (fellow hopefuls, holla if you know what i mean!)Well,as my parents and relatives said,they prefer I choose courses according to my ability.Huh,The course they hope/enourage me to take : education and language!Oh my..These ain't my cups of tea.But I know I do have ability in handling English Language.So here,it's engendered me to think about applying Bahasa dan linguitik(English).Well,etching in mind,I'm still have to challenge with those who were english educated and matrix students.

2ndly,I had wondered why had i taken biology in STPM but not Physics although my Physics got a fairly better good gred than Biology.Somehow it was plausible to say that we shouldn't do things based on our interest, but should be more on ability.Haiz.. OK,I guessed Biology was just my interest,but I was lacked of ability to handle it well.So,shall I take biology-related courses?
HUh


Desperation

Today - 16 Mac, the 6th days after the tredous day!I was getting recovered from the deep disappointment and gaining back some confidence + wishes.It was just like poem of The Road Not Taken again whereas I found that many of my friends who studied biology in F6 were thinking of choosing art stream courses rather than science field~~OUCH..Its like between the devil and deep blue sea in making decision of choosing courses and arranging the courses in sequences.

Well,i'm thankful to the on9 pals-Ervin and Yau Hoong who had helped me alot in understanding more about the course I'm interested about i.e. food science. The credits went to my beloved friends and seniors who gave me much comforts and encouragements to pursue.Today, I was ready with the choices,and applied =submitted.

Now I could only keep desperating,hoping and wishing my dream will come true.As been from the researches,its seem that not many of my friends are willing to study at other states.Thus,I'd hope that I can really get into a course that I put in my 8 choices.Perhaps choosing to go to a farer state's uni is much more better than the courses are rejected and got offers of cpurses like pemuliharaan and forestry.

Huh.. ok.. so just wish that my desperations will turn into reality(come true)..I MUST WORK HARD TO GET 1ST HONOUR DEGREE LATER ON..

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