写给自己的信

写给自己的信。。。

忽然，很想醉，是因为早已心碎；

忽然，很想睡，是因为心里早已疲惫，

忽然，很想喝一杯咖啡，是因为要映衬内心的苦味；

忽然，很想一个人颓废，是因为再没有什么人让我不累！

由于寂寞,我选择了挣脱.

由于清醒,我选择了沉思.

由于看不见未来,我选择了放弃.

由于放弃,我选择了眼泪.

由于割舍,我选择了释然.

由于释然,我选择了坚强.

心里很明白，心内的那个小孩不快乐了很久很久。几乎有好几个月都处于悲伤状态~

一個人，不管做什麼，
一定會有正面的評價與負面的評價；

何必那么在乎？然而我在意每个人对我的评价~

当得不到别人的认同，内心感觉空虚，

是缺乏了活出自己的勇气，

或者是想要证明些什么。

此外，对（失去）逝去的东西还抱着希望，

明知道那只会带来失望，还期待什么？！

如果能重来

你选择如何地去对待

你是否会把之前的回忆抛开

你又是否会确保不会奢求更多的重来

到底要有多少次重来

我们才会真正地去接受

眼前的 事实/真相.

最近的事情，让我很疲倦、很想放弃。

呐喊过、流泪过、堕落过。。。

说过自己要坚强，不再去寻找答案、不去对不相信的人解释。。。

我一定要办到。

只能当去年是人生中不可避免的起承转和期，

不能再放纵自己那么的懦弱、忧郁，

两次就够了，但两次的伤害带来的痛苦，

也不及懦弱的自己带给自己的压抑的心情、压力来的大。

有那么疼我的父母，家人，还要哀怨吗？

该改变自己的想法，希望能金蝉脱壳，还回真实的自己。

我活着，不是为了你们的欢呼声、掌声，

而是为了自己的将来。

Songs

Thanks to xiu wen who shared this @fb..Finally found this song which I kept humming the chorus part recently. Hmm.. didn't notice that JS do have many nice songs until I checked from youtube.

飞的越远越看不见
你阳光下灿烂的笑脸
在天和海之间那条界线
慢慢地走远
你曾经是我的地平线
你有没有一点想念
我们一起去年的夏天
有种爱的感觉
在心里面
那么的强烈
而这一切好像只是昨天
我才发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
还是不可否认的
我比想像中爱你
浪花掠过沙滩边境(海风就像你的呼吸)
我又看见我们的脚印(那曾是回忆的痕迹)
如果遇见幸福的机率要千万分之一
不顾一切也要找回你
我才发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认的
我比想像中爱你
woo~~~~
终于发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认的
我比想像中爱你

所有的“我不懂”其实还是有一点懂；

每一次“我不在乎”背后都有一点点在乎;

每一次“我没事”背后都还是有那么一点伤痛。

......................................................................

I wish that I could play this song on guitar~

也许有一天　我会爱上你
也许有一天　我们在一起
也许有一天　等一个也许
也许有一天　我们都忘记

如果一切都会过去　不如留点回忆
当我看着你的眼睛　我等的是奇迹

也许有一天　你会想起我
也许有一天　我们都忘记

就算一切都会过去　还是应该伤心
当你睁开你的眼睛　看一看我的心

如果一切都会过去　不如留点回忆
当我看着你的眼睛　我等的是奇迹　（我等的是奇迹）

也许有一天　你会想起我
也许有一天　我们都忘记

也许有一天　我们都忘记

能不忘记吗？

being understanding

Well, everyone of us is created with different attitudes, personalities, and etc. Sometimes,we get frustrated, down, depressed that why people don't understand us, but we couldn't blame them as not everyone could put themselves in our shoes.Some people believe that you have to experience what i experience in order to understand how they feel and not by just the phrase "I understand how you feel.." or " it will be the past soon, you will get over it". Sometimes, i feel people are so selfish that they only think about themselves but not the feelings of others. I read from an recent article, perhaps if i put it in a nicer way, maybe they are just not understanding enough and they can't put themselves in your shoes.

Well, I am not a perfect person who always fail in managing my emotions, but at least I am going to try my best to be understanding enough. ^^..( Hopefully I will reduce my question of asking ' Why can't you understand me?'). After all, I just felt funny after I asked that, as the answers from others might be" why should I understand you?!"... SILLY ME..

Nah, I am trying to improve myself to be a better person. A person who aged up to 21 right now is supposed to have maturity to handle stress and emotions well.. Hmm, hopefully I can improve in this.

H.I.A.T.U.S .. Hiatus

Recently edited the picture above with different effects, somehow looking at it, I felt calm..(I don't know why..)

There are some interesting and meaningful phrases I read from Facebook :

• 不要做刺猬 ,能不与人结仇就不与人结仇 ,谁也不跟谁一辈子 ,有些事情没必要记在心上 ...
• 没有十全十美的东西，没有十全十美的人，关键是清楚到底想要什么。得到想要的，肯定会失去另外一部分。如果什么都想要，只会什么都得不到。
• 纠缠，如同一根橡皮筋，时刻拉着自己，稍点就感受到那紧迫的束缚，让人感觉厌倦和疲劳，慢慢的就会开始有了逆反心理，然而这一种紧密的力量把这样的两个人连在一起，系在了一起。一个拽，一个跑，彼此因为对方感觉到自己的存在，不空虚，不寂寞.
• 真正的矛盾，不是不理解一个人，而是你不会宽容它的缺点

Anyway,calvin, if you read my blog, i wish to tell you that let's just entail forgiving the person. Perhaps we shall cheer for knowing the truth earlier although we hate accepting all that had happened, take care..We experience a loss or betrayal and are filled with hurt and anger. We blame the person who wronged us as the cause of our pain. At this point, we're not considering that we have a choice about how to respond. We're just feeling wounded by the offense.

Read more: http://www.thirdage.com/divorce/the-four-stages-of-becoming-a-forgiving-person#ixzz1Ebkjhf48

ps: Thanks to er xuan who sent me this article..

My sun is rising up again...

Thanks to those who have shared many meaningful articles, their bittersweet stories with me..

The aids you all gave, the trust you all have in me, the supports you all gave...

I really felt touched and appreciative with the presence of you all.

Thank you..

I will be fine and learn to be tough..

sadness

In drama, movies, and so on
the actors always claimed that they are having heartache during certain circumstances,
but how many know what it really feels like
it's like the chambers of your heart
shrinking immediately with no blood can pass through,
suffocating is the best described
and
do you know
I feel that every time

when realizing that there's none I really can trust of...

and there's none I can share my sorrows with..

The world is cruel with so many double-faced person around..

The person you are trusted with may actually doing so many tactics behind..

My life is sickening with the presence of you.. I really hate what you have done..

And the person I cared the most doesn't trust in what i said and done..

the sorrow will pass,

the happiness will soon follow,

and being me,

just await the time,

for the dark to go.

无题

对于残酷的事实，

我只能接受。。。

我很想为自己辩解什么，

可是错归根于自己。。

一切的发生，其实是自己给了机会让这一切发生，

不能责怪任何人，自己的愚蠢害了自己，

很累，真的很想到一个无烦恼的国度。

i am sorry, my family..sorry to make you all worry of me. I will be tough.

Show encrypted text

i am sorry, my family..sorry to make you all worry of me. I will be tough.

photoshop trial 1

Woohoo.. I had made some attempts to use photoshop to create some artistic pieces with the aid of youtube tutorials...^^

i like the quotes above..copied from a website^^

‎2♥11

Some memories are meant to be kept in mind and embedded in heart~

When I don't message you,it doesn't mean that I forgot about you.
I was just giving us some time to miss each other,
My love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never.

我不是碰不到更好的，

而是因为已经有了你，

我不想再碰到更好的...

我不是不会对别人动心，

而是因为已经有了你，

我就觉得没必要再对

其他人动心...

我不是不会爱上别的人，

而是我更加懂得珍惜你，

能在一起不容易，

已经选定的人我就不随便放手...

written by

‎

‎

‎c♥r‎♥ne

on ‎05/2/2♥11‎

Lost of mobile phone Nokia 6120

As Chinese New Year is approaching, mom has been busy baking cookies again! Hehe.. I really felt thankful to have a wonderful mom who is great in baking cookies! I will be having coffee almond cookies, kuih bangkit 番婆饼, green pea cookies, almond cookies, cornflakes cookies and etcetera. Somehow looking at the tolerance existing between parents, I felt glad of it. (Dad tolerates with mom who likes baking many cookies to her siblings... Well, if you count the prices of the materials to bake cookies and preparation for CNY eve's food, somehow will feel heartache.) hmm...

With the lost of Nokia 6120, I am like losing something that is very important to me.. Is that because of the messages and photos that I kept inside the mobile phone? or due to the songs that ever being shared with? Hmm...well, I told my dearie godsis, siew teng about the lost of handphone and missed the contents of it, and she told me that she believed everything inside the mobile phone did not disappear but had been embedded inside my heart. Hmm.. yeap, what she said was true! With the lost of it, I realized how much I had treasured those messages,photos, songs, everything of it! Sighed..

不要问我为什么，

我就是这样傻傻的，

依旧认为有一天，

折翼的爱情，

也有复原的一天。

什么时候我会以曾经来形容它呢？